Okay...
I know I just posted a prep update... But this post is mainly for me to let out my emotions.
I am having a little bit of a freak out or melt down (whatever you want to call it).
I checked in with my coach this morning.. And he got back to me faster than normal. Which I don't mind at all. But his response definitely made me nervous.
It wasn't a bad response by any means. It just reminded me just how close my show is.
I know that 5 weeks is still a good bit of time, but it's not THAT long.
I literally cannot focus! My mind is racing. I just want to leave work and hit the gym. Lift all of the weight, and do all of the cardio. I feel like I am "wasting" time just sitting here at work. Lol.
*breathe*
Perhaps I should start incorporating some meditation. That might help me stay calm. Or at least help me get through days like this.
I never really felt this nervous in the past. I just did what I was supposed to do and that was it. Sometimes I would stress about the scale (in the past)... But now I'm worried about the way I look (mainly my legs).
I know that my legs are the last thing to come in... So why am I stressing. I just want to look like I belong on the pro stage! I don't want to make a fool of myself. I will only get ONE pro debut.
I also know that this isn't my "main" show for the year. I have another show 4 weeks after this one. So I have another 9 weeks to prep for that one. I feel good with that deadline.
*take another deep breath*
I need to trust my coach and trust the process.
We made some really big changes this week. Big changes = big results.
Stressing isn't going to help me reach my goal. It is only going to make things more difficult and stressful (obviously LOL).
I GOT THIS!!!
All I can do is MY BEST!
Day in and day out I will GIVE IT MY ALL!
I will beat my old physique; and that's what really matters.
I will see what the other girls look like. I will get the judges feedback... And go from there.
But until that... I am just going to focus on working my butt off, and being my absolute best!
And of course, enjoying the journey along the way.
The journey is why I started doing this in the first place.
I enjoyed the challenge. I still do :)
I enjoy being different; and being able to do something that a lot of people cannot.
*sigh*
I think I have calmed down. LOL.
So... This random little venting blogs might be a thing until after my shows. Sorry, not sorry.
I did want to share this with you guys, though... I wanted to show the side of being a pro/elite athlete that many don't get to see or experience.
We are human just like non-athletes. We get nervous. We have melt downs.
The important thing is that I am able to move past it all and continue working towards my goal.
I practice positive self-talk. I reach out to loved ones for some encouragement. I make sure that my mindset is in the right place. And I stick to the plan, NO MATTER WHAT!
There are more things that I do... I just cannot remember everything at the moment.
I'm going to end it here. *sigh* I actually feel better.
If you read this.. Thank you. If not, that's okay :)