Sunday January 21, 2018
Okay... So here is the honest truth... I may come off very positive about where I'm at and where I'm going.
I tend to say...
"It's feeling better."
"I'm getting better."
But is it really? Am I really?
*sigh* To be 100% honest... I have been feeling so defeated lately. I feel like I am disappointing my coach, Tony, you guys... And myself. I wouldn't go as far as saying that I am a failure... But I definitely don't feel like I am being the best role model that I know I can be. And most definitely not the pro that I am.
Writing this reminds me of Tony telling me not to take things too seriously. And he also told me focus on performance... Not being lean. Both things that I know... But they are so much easier said than done.
Monday January 22, 2018
Okay... It is Monday!
This is the day everyone likes to use as their new beginning. This is also the day people aren't big fans of.
For me... Monday is just another day.
I think that each day is a new beginning... And there isn't a day that I don't like. Ha. They are all the same to me.
They biggest difference for me day to day.. Is what I am training in the gym that day. LOL.
So... As you may know... Every Saturday I have a refeed and cheat meal (replacing my last meal of the day).
I've been doing this since I started working with Justin.
This past weekend... Tony and I planned to go out for a fancy dinner Sunday... Because I worked 7-7 on Saturday.
BUT!!! THAT DIDN'T GO ACCORDING TO PLAN!
Tony and I spent like 2 hours texting about food and how hungry we were. Ha. It didn't help that I was sending him pictures of food on IG. We finally decided that we were going to eat that night. So I cancelled our reservations. And we went to the food trucks down the street from our house... And got some snacks and a Red Box from the store. Oh man! It was all so delicious.
BUT! The next day my body didn't think it was so good! I woke up feeling fine.. Went about my normal morning routine... Normal until my stomach started killing me. It was not fun!!! My stomach was upset pretty much all day.
This made training quite uncomfortable! My stomach was so bloated. I felt like I was going to throw up or poop my pants. Shoot... I wish I could have done either of those things... But NOPE! It was all stuck in my tummy!
Anyways... What I'm trying to say is... Eating bad and/or over eating doesn't only effect the way you look. It also effects the way you perform. This was a reminder to not eat like a complete asshole. This was a reminder that I am better than that! This was a reminder that... If I want to make progress during this IMPROVEMENT SEASON... I have to tone it down on my cheat meals. I have to be smart about it all.
Unfortunately... All this is easier said than done. Like most things in life... Things take practice. And this is one of those things.
When I was prepping for my shows last year... I did a great job of NOT over doing in on my cheat meals. The reason for that was because I had a show coming up. I knew that everything I did, everything I ate... All would show up on the stage. So I was on my best behavior.
I have to bring that behavior over into my improvement season. But things are switched around now. My focus isn't on my appearance... It is on my performance (& a little of appearance).
I am in the process of making the mindset shift.... I am focusing more on my performance in the gym. I am working on getting stronger. This will benefit my upcoming PL meet (US Open). This will also benefit my future shows. The stronger I get... The more size I am putting on. Then that cycle just keeps repeating itself (to an extent, of course).
It's funny re-reading this blog. Sunday I was so sad/defeated. And today I feel better! Part of it probably has to do with the fact that I was bloated and feeling like crap Sunday. But hey... This is real life.
We will have good days, and we will have bad days. I am just doing my very best to enjoy them both. Learn and grow from each.