5/15/19
Happy Wednesday, Everyone!
I am currently on a plane to Tampa. Yes.. Flying again.
This time Tony and I are in FIRST CLASS!!! YESSS!
We had a lot of miles saved up. So we used them for this trip.
And we decided to spoil ourselves for part of the flight.
I’m sitting here watching The Upside with Kevin Hart.
I have been wanting to see this movie since the previews came out.
I love free movies on flights!! The best!!!
Anyways.. I didn’t start writing to talk about flying and free movies.
I wanted to talk about where I’m at mentally and emotionally right now..
So… I had another mini melt down. Very little..
But I was questioning bodybuilding again. Questioning dieting at the moment.
Questioning myself as an athlete. Am I a serious athlete?
Am a good enough to be called an IFBB Pro?
Am I a shitty client? Am I wishy-washy??
I keep going back and forth with all this.
I’m okay. I’m ready. Oh wait.. No I’m not.
I want to do this. Oh wait.. Not right now.
This is bullshit.
I’ve never been in such a weird and lost position..
But on the bright side I do HONESTLY think I’m coming around.
FINALLY GETTING OUT OF THIS SLUMP!!!
An amazing person and friend told me not to compare tragedies or problems or struggles.
(If you read this.. You know who you are)
Mine are mine.. No matter how big or small. They are still real to me.
As are yours to you.
With all that being said… Positive thinking and self talk are HUGE!!!
And anther thing I forgot about is.. SURROUNDING YOURSELF WITH AMAZING PEOPLE!
I was thinking too much about myself and my problems. Focusing on my negatives.
Too much negativity. That’s not like me.. Hence the funk I was stuck in.
Time to get back to positive thinking.
How can you not be positive when you are surrounded by so much amazing-ness?!
A lot of this new thinking is thanks to my friend I mentioned above. I’m not sure if she would like me share her name. But a lot of this new attitude also comes from my new coach.
Who would have thought that a bodybuilding prep coach could help with something like this..
Not even with talking about this… He helped just by checking in on me and my diet.
He helped by seeing my potential!
WE ARE OUR OWN WORST CRITIC.
And being that.. I also tend to be blind to my potential.
6/9/19
It is time to get this party started! No more fucking off and going off plan!
I’m sick of being disappointed in myself!!!
I am 10 weeks out from my strongman event and 17 weeks out from a show I want to do! And I think 21 weeks out from another show!!!!
I’ve had freedom and flexibility for a good while now!!!! And although it seems fun.. It really messes with me mentally and emotionally! And I’m the only one that can change that!!!
SO FUCK IT!!!
All in I go!!! I know I can do it!!! And honestly I feel better when i am all in!!!
I am a pro figure competitor and elite powerlifter for a reason!!!
Now I need to start acting like one!!!
Tony asked me if I think the baking is throwing me off.. I don’t think so because I’ve baked while dieting plenty of times… I just think I’m being a “fatty.”
NO MORE OF THAT!!!!
If you read my last post then you know I am at a very heavy weight… And even though I look the best I’ve looked at this weight… I Know I can look better!!! And the last of the shows for the year are creeping closer and closer!!!!
Time to dial it all in.
I have been having two cheat meals a week… Which wouldn’t be too bad if I didn’t have a grown man appetite. And it wouldn’t be bad if my coach said to do that… But he didn’t!!!
And it really does eat at me when I go off plan!!!!! UUUGGGHHHH!
Oh well… That is behind me now!!! And I still have time to put in crazy work and bring the crazy package to stage!!!
Package! Haha! That term always makes me giggle! It’s like I’m a present! Wrapped in a tiny bikini!!!
Well.. I have to pause writing so I can go to the grocery store :)
6/13/19
I am in California right now. Tony and I are out here to visit my family and see my little brother graduate from his bootcamp/high school program.
Okay… Some honesty and transparency here…
While I write this blog and do computer work… I am listening to a “I am” video.
I am enough.
I am beautiful.
I am hard working.
I am healthy.
I am…
Tony and I were talking about how I need to stop all the negative self talk.
Which I have been aware of. And I have known that I need to stop it.
But even when I say something in a joking way… Deep down… It isn’t a joke.
And I am still putting that negativity out into the universe. And I am still saying those things about myself. Like calling myself fat.
I know that I’m not fat!!! I’m just not stage lean.
But I have chose to be where I’m at.
I chose to eat all the food.
I chose to not pick a show and buckle down.
I chose to do all the traveling.
I chose to walk into the ice cream shop and/or bakery.
I chose to bake.
I MADE ALL THE DECISIONS THAT GOT ME WHERE I’M AT RIGHT NOW.
And where I’m at isn’t bad at all!
But yet, why am I disappointed in myself?
Why do I feel like I have disappointed you guys?
My clients, my fan (if I have any), my husband, my coach, my peers…
I honestly don’t know why I feel they way I feel.
I have no idea why I’m struggling with my diet.
I do think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I feel guilty.
And I care too much about what others think about me.
I have allowed bodybuilding to define me.
And I’ve talked about this before! I compete in bodybuilding. But I am not bodybuilding.
I AM KAYLIE ANNE KLITZING (MONTGOMERY) <3
6/20/19
Hello from Seattle!!!!
Tony and I got back from California on Sunday… & left for Seattle on Wednesday.
We drove.. So it was less stressful. But of course driving is longer. Oh well :)
We are out here for a strength and conditioning summit.
This should be interesting.
I’m always down to learn more. But this topic is definitely not my “jam.”
Especially nowadays… BAKING IS MY “JAM!”
Eating jam (ON TOAST) is my “jam!” LOL.
I actually had some jam in oatmeal this morning!!!
Oh and… To stop talking about JAM!
I have some news about my competing schedule.
Ready for it?
……….
I am not competing in bodybuilding this year. I am going to wait until the beginning of next year.
March and April -ish :)
6/21/19
I am currently in the sports seminar.
This event isn’t exactly what Tony and I wee expecting.
Yesterday… We actually left early. Oops! LOL.
It’s okay.. We purposefully sat in the back right by the door… That way we can “sneak” out!
Today is better.
I didn’t really pay attention to the first lady. I just know that she is the PT for the NFL Eagles.
That’s cool that a lady has that job!!! :)
The presenter right now works for the LA Kings (hockey team).
I like hockey.. So I payed more attention to him. Too bad it wasn’t someone for the Sharks! Ha.
Anyways… Let’s continue about what I have going on for this year, competition wise.
So.. If you are reading this… Then you probably know that I did a powerlifting meet at the beginning of March. Such a great meet! Everyone asked me if I was going to do another meet… And at the time… I only had bodybuilding in mind. I didn’t know that I was going to have a mindset issue! And I didn’t realize that all the travel would effect me the way it has.
Oh well.. Life happens. And I have to live it!!! & stop feeling guilty about it all.
I travel.. I eat good food. Then I tear myself apart about it all.
…which takes away a lot of the enjoyment of it all. Ugh!!! It’s like a lose-lose.
*sigh*
I need to RELAX!! & HAVE FUN!
I need to live my life THE WAY THAT I WANT TO!!!
There are going to be different “seasons” or “phases.”
I know how to diet. I know how to lose weight.
I don’t know how to CHILL THE F*CK OUT!
And all this extra stress isn’t good for muscle building or fat loss.
I digress…
WHAT ELSE AM I GOING TO DO THIS YEAR?
I am currently prepping for a strongman competition.
Then I’m going to do another powerlifting meet.
THEN, I will get ready for a bodybuilding show again :)
So while I get ready for my strongman competition I will be dieting and working and getting back on track and leaning out. I am about 8 weeks out (as of tomorrow).
So I think I can lose 8 pounds in that time. Should get me to the high 120’s. I think I’m around 135-138lbs (I’m not really sure, because I haven’t been weighing myself).
And I probably won’t!
After this Seattle trip… I will be getting on track 100%. And just ride that out!
I am focusing on performance for the rest of this year!!!
I just want to get stronger! As well as get my nutrition in line (which will lead to me leaning out)!
The game plan in my head is to diet for about 10 more weeks. Then slowly bring my food back up for the next 10-ish weeks.
I do have to get down to 123 for powerlifting. So then the scale will matter.
Then after my meet… The plan is to start contest prep. Most likely a couple weeks after my PL meet.
This well get me to a show in March and April of 2020.
THEN TONY AND I MOVE TO TAMPA, FL :)
6/29/19
Okay. So this blog has been extremely long! I definitely need to end it today! LOL.
Who ever reads this .. You are a rockstar!
I realized that my blog and youtube (when I make videos) have become very much like a diary.
That I share with the world. Why is that…?
1. This is how I keep my friends and family updated with what I’m up to.
2. I like to share with you guys my real life experiences.
3. I have so much going on .. I just haven’t been about to focus on writing better content for you guys.
… I mean shoot! I haven’t even been able to stick to my diet… Which isn’t like me.
BUT THINGS ARE ABOUT TO CHANGE!!!
I just finished my first week (in about 3 months) of 100% on my plan.
That goes for training and nutrition.
Training is normally on no matter what. Even when I travel I still train. That’s the “easy” part.
But I fell off the wagon with my nutrition at the end of March… And I am finally back on!! YAY!!!
Even though I am a nutrition coach, and an IFBB Pro, and an elite level powerlifter… I still am human!
Which I’m pretty sure I have talked about numerous times.. But a friendly reminder is good for all of us (including myself).
i tend to be so hard on myself when it comes to this stuff (when it come to anything, really).
But I have been working on being more patient, kind, and loving to myself!!!
The other day I was reminiscing on my contest prep days. Looking at pictures of my photoshoots.
And “wishing” that I looked like that again.
I know that i can, and I will. I know what to do to get there. GET BACK ON TRACK!
But you know what… When I got those pictures taken… I remember looking back at them and thinking to myself that i didn’t look good. I wasn’t lean enough.. I could see areas that I thought were still “fat.” THAT’S CRAZY!!! I was under 10% body fat (according the the under water weighing I did).
And there are so many moments in my current body.. That I will look in the mirror and think that I don’t look good enough. I don’t look like an IFBB Pro. I don’t look like a good nutrition coach. I don’t look like an elite level athlete!! I NEED TO SHUT THE F*CK UP WITH THAT SH*T!!!
JUST CRAZINESS!
So that day.. I looked in the mirror and decided that I was beautiful! Right now! in my off season. At my heaviest bodyweight! With my clothes being tighter than I would like! That’s what I get for living in yoga pants! Hahaha. They are supposed to be tight!
No matter what season or phase I’m in… I am beautiful and strong!!!
No more shaming my hard working body!!!! (easier said than done)
If you are reading this… And you go through the same thing.. Then you need to stop shaming yourself too!!! Start saying positive things about yourself! FOCUS ON THE GOOD!!!
And in the meantime… You can work towards become a better YOU!!! :)
Well.. Let’s end this, way too long, blog here!!!
Thanks for sticking around you guys!!!
My goal is to start posting more regularly again.. And having more valuable content for you all <3