5/13/20
WHO AM I?
That's a big question.
And I have been doing a lot of "soul searching" lately.
It all started last year... March... My first trip to Tampa... When I had a meltdown about weighing out fricken Sugar Reduced Ketchup for my meals. (rolling my eyes & shaking my head).
I roll my eyes and shake my head... But I know exactly why I weighed things out. I chose to do just that!!! So I guess I can't really be upset about it all. I'm actually not upset about being so precise with my food... I'm just upset with where my mindset went with it all.
But, my alarm just went off to start getting ready to head to the commissary kitchen to get some baking done... So I will be back to blogging, most likely tomorrow morning. Ta ta for now :)
5/15/20
Two days later. Lol.
So many people know me as the personal trainer, the bodybuilder... The person they can go to to ask questions about working out and eating right...
Few people know me as the powerlifter. But some do... The girl with the crazy arch and bench press.
And now there are some people who know me as the cookie lady. :)
But who am I??
I am Kaylie. And I do all of those things.
But I am working on not identifying as any of them.
I used to identify as the bodybuilder... And I feel like that set me up for failure because then I felt like I always had to be ON. I couldn't eat/enjoy food like a normal human. I had to get in this amount of protein, fats, and carbs... And nothing else... And if I didn't do that perfectly... Then I was a failure.
If I wasn't lean enough... I was an awful person in my eyes. If my bodyweight didn't drop for the week... Fail. If my back wasn't wide enough... Fail. Legs too big... Fail... And I took all that to heart. Like I, Kaylie, was less of a person...
This is when I turned to powerlifting... To help me get away from that mindset.
Powerlifting allowed me to focus on my performance. I still ate very much like a bodybuilder... But I was more focused on fueling myself to perform... Versus taking food away to lose weight/body fat.
7/11/20
Almost two months later! LOL.
I'm not sure why I have fallen off my writing so hard! But like I mentioned in my most recent blog, I'm going to write more, because I know it helps me work things out :)
So this blog is titled "Bodybuilder? Powerlifter? Baker?"
And you know what? I'm all of those things!
All of them bring me joy! And they all have their time in my life.
I focused on bodybuilding for a few years.. Then took some time off and focused on powerlifting.. Then went back to bodybuilding.. Back to powerlifting.. Tried to do both at the same time (that didn't work out very well)... And now I am focused on becoming the best baker and business owner!
SEASONS / PHASES in LIFE
That's what I like to call it. Each of my passions have their own season.
And I go in and out of different phases. Kind of like a child when they are growing up. LOL.
Yes, I just compared myself to to child. Which is okay... Because I am growing too!
7/13/20
I am currently in the phase of self-improvement (mostly mentally and emotionally), and becoming the best baker and business owner I can.
For the first time, in a very long time... Fitness is not my number one. It is so weird to say that.
I actually caught myself this morning... I said I was going to skip the gym because I had baking to do.
Then I realized that I can do some of the baking tomorrow... Which should free up at least an hour today to get in a quick workout.
This phase that I am in is different, and challenging at times. I have to remember that I still need to get in some physical activity to be at my best.
So I am actually going to go to the gym today. I am giving myself an hour to get in and out. Then I will get back to work. But in order to be my best for my business, my friends, and my significant other... I have to make sure that I am healthy.
7/15/20
Good morning you guys.
I only have 5 mins to write... But a little is better than nothing.
I did end up going to the gym that day. I literally timed everything, and made sure I was out in ABOUT an hour. It was probably an hour thirty... I had some new people sign up.. So of course I had to take care of them. But either way... I got in some sort of a workout.
But, with that being said... I did skip my workout yesterday. I had a very busy day. I hit the ground running right when I woke up.
I preheated the oven while I got the coffee and water bottles ready for Tony and myself... And once that oven was ready... I was baking pretty much all day!
What did I bake?
5 dozen chocolate chip sea salt cookies
2 or 3 dozen brownie s'mores cookies
1/2 dozen gluten-free lemon cookies
1 pan of Frosted Animal Cookie blondies
1 dozen cake bater Frosted Animal Cookie cookies
And that's about all I had time for.
In between that... I went to a couple grocery stores to get ready for my big baking day (today).
And I delivered cookies.. And went to Lowes to get an AC for my house. It is getting quite hot in PDX. Lol.
Okay... My 5 mins have come and gone. Time to get ready to go to the kitchen and bake, I think about 20 dozen cookies! Yay!
7/16/20
Big day of baking behind me... Kinda. LOL.
This being my business... I guess I will always have big baking days. But today is NOT one of them.
I do have some baking to do... But today I am going to focus on some house chores and packing.
YES! I said packing.
I'm not sure if I mentioned this yet... But I am moving to Tampa, FL.
SO CRAZY!!! I'm filled with so many emotions. Scared, nervous, excited, happy.
Why the move?
There are a few reasons...
1. Tony got into USF.
2. Financially smarter to have one place at the moment versus two.
3. NEW ADVENTURE!!!
I will get to meet new people. But around people who are into the things I'm into (fitness-wise)... And I will also get the chance to get Keeks known in a new place too!
I'm not a huge fan of moving further away from my family... But it is a temporary move.. And I know that they are a flight away anyways. Just a longer flight now.
Okay... Before I turn this entire blog into a diary entry... Let's bring it full circle and wrap it up...
Bodybuilder? Powerlifter? or Baker???
WHO AM I?
I am KAYLIE!
I am an IFBB Pro Figure Competitor.
I am an elite level powerlifter.
And I am a pretty good baker. LOL.
I am also so many other things!!!
I am a daughter, a sister, a friend, a coach, and more.
But at the end of the day... I AM JUST ME!
Okay... So this is quite an amazing moment for me. A little weird too.
Who would have thought that typing these words would give me such a boost in confidence in WHO I AM?! But that is exactly what it is doing.
I can feel my heart pumping with excitement! LOL. Sorry... I had to let you know how I am feeling. Maybe this can be a new exercise for me... And anyone else who struggles with self-love and self-confidence.
Okay.. Wrapping it up!
I wear a lot of hats throughout the day and throughout the weeks of my life.
But under all those hats... It's ME!
None of the activities that I participate in define who I am.
Not how lean or bulky I am!
Not how strong or weak I am!
Not my amazing treats or my baking fails!
I have been working really hard the past year or so learning to actually love and accept myself for who I am! And I can feel it! I'm getting closer to being able to do that!!!
No more allowing external things define me.
I am KAYLIE!
I am hardworking, loving, independent, strong, intelligent, and beautiful (inside & out)!
The end :)
