08/20/19 (sitting at a coffee shop doing computer work)
I just posted about ordering Keeks Treats to help raise money for The Heroes Project.
I wanted to take a second to say that I am so lucky to be surrounded by so many amazing people.
Sure, I have met some assholes. Sure, I have been screwed over... But at the end of the day... I am so thankful for everyone and everything that has crossed my path.
I have learned so much, and continue to learn everyday.
And I have met some of the most amazing people!!! Words cannot even describe how I am feeling.
08/31/19 (sitting on my couch wrapped in my minion blanket)
LOL. I just had to copy what I did above.
GOOD MORNING!
It is 5:54am. I got up at 4:09am. Why is the snooze always 9 minutes? I've never understood that. LOL. Yes... I snoozed my 4am alarm this morning. I was so tired.
I passed out on the couch last night, pretty much right after eating my protein pudding.
I think I'm super tired because I have been baking like crazy! Plus, Tony's mom is here visiting. It is great having her and catching up... But it is an extra stimulus I am not used to. Extra talking, hosting, and playing with her puppy! Great times, just tiring :)
I decided to continue my blog right now simply because I am not ready to get up and start baking. AKA being lazy! LOL. I'm just kidding. I know I'm not lazy. I'm just procrastinating because I am still tired.
Speaking of being tired... I know that I need to get more sleep. One of our gym members gave Tony and me a Whoop. It is a wrist band you wear that tracks things like your HRV, RHR, sleep quality and quantity. It also tracks how much strain/stress you have or put on your body. And how rested you are. It's pretty cool. Although it keeps telling me that I need more sleep... And I need to take it easy in the gym. That I need a low strain day. LOL.
I am not LOL-ing because I think it is actually funny... One, I just like LOL-ing. Two, I think I am funny. I am funny because I wear this wrist band, but I know I am not going to train less intensely. I know that I am still going to wake up at 4am (or 4:09am). Why is this?
Well... I am going to still train to my RPE for the day. And with this Whoop... I am just aware of where my body is at. But what the Whoop says will not dictate my performance. Same thing with my schedule... I am well aware that I need more sleep. But I have orders to fill. Books to read. Blogs to write. Emails to answer. Chicken to cook. Dishes to clean. Laundry to fold. Pretty much... All that fun adulating stuff to get done! Which I love. I love my life!!! But the life I choose to live at the moment means that I need to be up early.
Even though I woke up early today... And I AM NOT BAKING. I am sitting on my couch. Ha. But hey... If I was still sleeping, I would not have read a chapter of my book. And I would not be writing this blog. So I say that is a win for productivity!!! *sigh* of relaxation
But... I do need to get up at start baking. So, I will be bake (hahahaha BACK!) :)
09/04/19 (sitting on the couch again..)
I really enjoy starting my morning like this. I will fill up all the water bottles for Tony and myself, make the coffee, then sit down and read. Or write programs. Or answer emails. Sometimes get lost on IG...
Although, lately, I do not bring my phone down to the couch with me. I leave it in the kitchen. I am more productive that way.
So... I know I started this blog a little bit ago... And I know I started it off very positive and thankful about my life. And I still am! Very much so! But yesterday and today... I have not been in the best emotional place. Not really sure why. I think it is because I have built up some stress inside. And it needs to come out somehow!
Yesterday, I was being a negative Nancy. I ever sat down and cried when I was locked out of my apartment with all of my groceries. Was that necessary... Not really... But oh well. I cried and that's okay. But then... With all those emotions... For some reason that lead me to eating off plan. I decided that I wanted to eat a couple cookies and trail mix. Fortunately, I didn't go too crazy. And it didn't throw off my entire day. So that is a win!!!
This morning... I woke up, stepped on the scale... And wasn't happy. I have been slowly dropping weight... But now it is creeping back up. I need to stop worrying about it so much. It is what it is. But because of that... I felt fat and unattractive. Which is silly! I'm still just me. And of course my weight is going to be up... I ate a good bit of emotional calories yesterday.
After I ate off plan... I asked myself why I did that.
Yes, I am a weird-o and actually talk to myself. Sometimes out loud! Ha.
So, why did I do a mini binge sesh? Well... I was emotional. I was upset. And I am human. And I am not getting ready for a bodybuilding show... So I could eat and it would be okay.
Then I asked myself how it made me feel to eat?
At this very moment, I feel guilty about it, and wish I didn't... But that's because I feel fat today.
But yesterday, when I asked myself that... I accepted it. I was okay with it. I ate what I wanted. Not in excess. And I felt better. There was a little guilt there. But not as much as in the past.
Later on, I wanted to eat more cookies. Simply because I had already messed up the day.
NO, NO, NO!!!
That is the WRONG mindset to live by! Extremely on or extremely off.
I don't want to be there anymore! I just want to be Kaylie! Who eats healthy in order to fuel my body the best I can. But also, eats some cookies and trail mix here and there without freaking out about it!
So when I wanted to eat more cookies... I stopped and asked myself... AM I REALLY HUNGRY? Or do I just want to eat a cookie because..?
I just wanted to eat it because it was sitting there...
So I walked away and continued do what I was doing. I did not need the cookie. Nor did I actually feel like eating the cookie. Another win for me!!!!
10/8/19 (sitting on the couch in my minion blanket & shirt! LOL)
Wow!!! I sure have been slacking on writing & reading, AND making my Youtube videos. I'm sorry, but also not sorry.
I don't want this to sound like an excuse... But I have been so busy, in the best way possible!
Tony and I have made a huge decision on what we are going to be doing for the next couple years. And i am working on growing Keeks Treats. And it is all going so well!!!
Tony and I decided that I will be staying in Portland while he travels for school. Yes, we will be living apart from each other for a couple years. No, I'm not excited about that. But it is what makes the most sense for our businesses.
I can stay out here in Portland to manage the gym and continue to grow my baking business. And Tony can focus solely on school, and not worry about taking care of me.
We will visit each other as often as we can, as long as it makes sense :)
AND KEEKS TREATS!
It is all slowly buy surely GROWING! And I'm so excited about it.
I get consistent orders! And I just signed an agreement at a commissary kitchen.
I am starting out with just one day a week in the kitchen.
AANNNDDD!
I got my ODA Food Processing License, which allows me to sell wholesale!
ANNNDDDDD! I got my first wholesale account! With Mac'd PDX!
So excited about it!! But also very overwhelmed.
I had my first day in the kitchen on Friday. And that was a last minute decision. Mac'd asked if i could have cookies ready for them by Friday or Saturday... And I wanted to deliver!!!
Man... It was crazy! But I did it! I baked 244 cookies in on go! In a brand new kitchen (to me). With a brand new oven (to me). And it was my first time making such large batches of my cookie doughs. Fortunately, I do everything by weight... So that helped a ton when it came to multiplying my recipe :)
I don't want to bore you with my sob story with how I got my ass beat by cookies. LOL. We will just say that I DID IT! I got it all done! And I delivered on Saturday morning! Were they my best? No. Mainly because of everything I mentioned in the previous paragraph. But I promised myself, and the Mac'd manager that I will only be getting better!
I also asked him for any and all feedback. Good and bad! That way I can make changes/adjustments accordingly :)
This is so cool to be talking about. I would have never guessed that this is where I would be, and what I would be doing. AND LOVING EVERY MOMENT OF IT!!!! (aside from almost dying from so many cookies hahaha)
10/12/19 (sitting at a coffee shop with Tony)
I am going to end this blog here. LOL. If you have read this far!! Thank you!!!! <3