Excuses DON'T Burn Calories!
Everyone makes excuses, every day, for everything. I’m guilty of it too. But I am also really good at pointing it out when someone is giving an excuses (maybe not my own, but I have Tony for that).
I have been doing a little bit of research/reading on why people make excuses, defend, or justify their actions. I read four articles. Here is a little bit of what I got from each one…
Why Do We Make Excuses? By Dr. Claudia Aguirre
People use excuses to distract themselves and others from the fact that they have not achieved a task. When you make excuses you get your mind off what you are really supposed to be doing. And if someone ever calls you out on your excuses (I’m guilty of doing that to people) you come up with more excuses to protect yourself. But how can you change that?
You have to break the habit of making excuses. It is going to take a lot of conscious effort. Most of us have been making excuses or lying/fibbing since we were kids. Now that we are adults, excuse making comes so quick and easy, which is not good at all. Old habits are only tucked away, they are not completely forgotten. Therefore, like I mentioned above, you really have to be mindful of when you are about to make an excuse or tell a lie, or you will go right back to your old ways. And if you do make an excuse, don’t beat yourself up for it. Just keep working on changing that habit. Perhaps ask friends, family, or even coworkers to hold you accountable.
Another thing you can try to do is to rethink your resolutions. Many people make specific goals. And don’t get me wrong, goal setting is fantastic, but it can be a bit overwhelming. Try sticking to a theme rather than a specific goal. For instance, MINDFULNESS, work on being more mindful of what you are doing, saying, eating, etc.
Excuses, Excuses, Excuses: Why People Lie, Cheat, and Procrastinate
By Susan Krauss Whitbourne Ph. D
One thing that I noticed, the more I read on this topic, it did get a little bit repetitive, so bare with me.
Ever since we were kids we have been getting away with excuses and lies. The more we got away with, the more we continued to make up excuses. For instance, I missed a lot of school growing up. I would always claim that I was “sick.” I continued that throughout high school. It’s definitely not something I am proud of. I also think that it might have gotten to me a little. I kept telling my parents and teachers that I was sick, my mind and body started to believe it.
The more one lies, the more one believes their fib. It sounds crazy, but our memory distorts and our little lie becomes part of our long term memory. Being sick might not be the best example, sorry about that. Just keep in mind that if you create false memories consistently, they will eventually turn into truthful memories.
This brings us to another fun part of why people make excuses. We all want to protect ourselves. We want to believe that we are ethical, honest and morally upstanding. We put ourselves through “mental shenanigans” to maintain this belief. When I read this, it really hit me hard. I know I am guilty of this. But doing this makes me the exact opposite of what I want to be. (Sad face)
I am also guilty of not owning up to my mistakes. I will blame something or someone else. And when I say I am guilty of these things, it doesn’t mean that I do them all the time. For instance, the other day I didn’t do fasted cardio. I blamed it on the fact that Tony already took the gym key. I should have just accepted the fact that I didn’t wake up in time to go with him.
On the whole, lying, cheating, and making excuses can get you in trouble or keep you from achieving maximum fulfillment. Stop selling yourself short! I know it is hard to own up to things you’ve done wrong or accept the fact that you couldn’t get a task done, but when you make excuses you are only getting in your own way. You are depriving yourself of experience and knowledge. You are also creating a false self and pushing yourself away from who you want to be.
Why Do People Try to “Justify” Their Behavior? By Frank Bucarc CSP, CPAE
When I found this article, I had high hopes for it to be amazing. Tony always tells me that I justify my behavior all the time; so I was hoping this article would help me change that. But it was extremely short. Nonetheless, it was still a little helpful.
People justify their behavior because they are trying to get away with something they probably shouldn’t have done. Take this for example; I get one cheat meal a week. That one meal is normally mine and Tony’s date night. Each time we go out, I will eat all of my food, appetizer and all, and then want ice cream, cookies, etc. I almost always overdo it with my cheat meals. (I am getting a lot better though. I no longer eat until I’m in pain.) I do not really try to justify or explain myself to Tony anymore, but I do try to do it to myself. I try to tell myself that it is okay to binge. When it is not! One, I get a weekly cheat meal, I need to relax and not try to eat all the food in that one meal, I will get one in a week. Two, it is never good to eat until I’m in pain. And three, I already have major self image issues; going crazy on a cheat meal is most definitely not helping me get passed my issues.
Back to the article! Sorry for the long example.
People rationalize why they made the decision they made. They rarely think about the consequences of their actions. They want to do something, so they do it, and normally pay the price afterwards.
Why You Should Never Defend, Explain, or Justify By Russell Bishop
Last article, I hope you are still with me.
We tend to defend, explain, or justify ourselves when we feel like someone is attacking us in some way. Whether it is about your knowledge of a topic or something you did or didn’t do. When someone gives you their opinion or feedback you have to pause for a second. Let it sink in, and really think about it. Look inside yourself to see if you have a reaction to what someone just told you. If you have a reaction it is probably because you are uneasy about the topic, or need to work on it in some way. If you don’t have a reaction, the person’s comment does not affect you in any way, and then the topic is something you are probably confident with. For instance, my manger came up to me and informed me that I had met with seven people at the gym, yet I only signed up one of them. He asked me why that was, and if I needed help with anything. I thought about it for a second, and simply thanked him for the gesture. I told him that I was completely confident with how my consultations are going. I actually ended up signing up two more people soon after that conversation.
When it all comes down to it, if you feel the need to defend yourself, it is probably something you need to work on or need help with. I know it isn’t the most fun thing, but you have to try to invite the criticism, the feedback, and the opinions. It will all help you learn and grow as a person.
And that’s a wrap! I hope this was helpful. Please let me know what you think.
