Random Writing: Eating

So... I am sitting at Tony's meet in Washington. It is May 14, 2016. It's 3pm. It is the third flight of bench.. One more to go... Then deadlifts. It's going to be such a long day. While I'm sitting here... I can't help but think about food. Am I hungry? Or am I just bored??? This is a problem that a lot of people struggle with. Athletes and all. (Oh! Quick pause to check out my man as he walks by! Lol) Okay.. Back to what I was saying. Almost everyone struggles with eating when bored. It's like we don't know what to do with ourselves, so we just eat. And of course we don't want to eat a salad. I have done a little research on the difference between actual hunger and eating out of boredom. Every thing that I have read says that actual hunger does not just happen out of no where. I've also read that you normally don't crave crazy things. I still have about an hour until I can eat again. Being an athlete, I do my best to stick to my program to the best of my ability, no matter what (contest prep, off season, at home, or on the road)!

Discipline, will power & self control. Three things that you have to have, really to accomplish anything, but especially when it comes to having control over your eating. You have to understand and accept the fact that it is not time to eat. And be okay with being hungry. It is just a little bit of hunger... You are not going to die if you wait another hour or two. A couple things that I have found to really help me when I'm hungry (or bored and think I am hungry) are... 1. Do something! Get rid of that boredom, focus on something other than food.. I chose to write. Ha. 2. Drink water! A lot of times people confuse dehydration with hunger. You can also add some Bcaas to your water too. 3. Drink coffee. It will help suppress your appetite. I also like tea! Hot tea especially because the warmth makes my tummy feel full. Yay! Tony's flight started! Benching is over, now deadlifts. I've got to admit.. I am very tired and quite bored. Tony's mom has left, so now I'm sitting alone. That's okay though.. I will just continue to write. I got to eat some food in between Tony's benches. I had broccoli and chicken. Woot woot! Yay me! I really wanted to eat the protein bar in my purse. But I'm trying to avoid eating too many carbs because I'm not sure if Tony is going to want to go out to eat after his meet. A lot of people will tell me that I do so good on my eating.. And they wish they could do it. THEY/YOU CAN! Just because I am a personal trainer and an athlete.. Doesn't mean that I don't have a hard time sticking to my "diet." It doesn't mean that I don't have cravings. The majority of my popular page on Instagram is a bunch of food (yeah... It's pretty sad)! To be completely honest, my relationship with food has only gotten worse as I have become a better athlete. I think it is because now I expect a lot more out of myself. I have been working on creating a better relationship with food though. I am trying to view it as fuel. I eat so my body can function properly. And so I can perform at my best! I am also working on not depriving myself (at least in my off season). I started with my coach, Jason Theobald, in December 2015. When I started with him, my goal was to make the low 120s my happy weight (instead of the 130s).. I am now there, which I am so happy with. My whole attitude as change, as well as the way I carry myself (Tony says that he can tell I'm a lot happier). Now that I am where I want to be for my off season. Jason and I are working on increasing my calories (VERY SLOWLY) while maintaining my weight. This is always fun. Ha. And going back to what I mentioned above, I am working on not depriving myself. Normally when I am in "diet mode" or contest prep... I will only eat my weighed and portioned out meals and nothing more or less! But lately, when the guys from the gym invite Tony and me out for lunch, I go! Or when Tony and I are in San Diego and get to eat breakfast with some of the best power lifters.. Of course we tag along! The reason for all this, is because I do not want to miss out on life. One, you only get one life. Two, if I deprive myself, even in my off season, I will get burnt out and start to hate what I do. Three, I control myself. I order something as close to my program as possible (while still keeping it enjoyable). I will also make sure to keep my carb intake low throughout the rest of the day. I want to take a second to apologize if this blog is kind of all over the place.. This journey I have been on with food has come a long way.. And still going. No one, no matter where your health and fitness level, can expect to perfect their eating over night. It all takes time, practice and experimenting. You have to see what works for you and your lifestyle. You have to be able to enjoy the life you live; as well as be happy with yourself.

Some people, including myself at one point, completely let myself go. Yeah.. I enjoyed eating whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted... But was I happy with myself?! NO! Not one bit. I can honestly say, I hated myself. I hated how far I let myself go! I hated how I looked in the mirror (there came a time I would avoid mirrors). And I hated how I felt like I lost all control over myself and my life. It's crazy to think all this came out just from the topic of eating when bored. Well, when it all comes down to it.. If you aren't happy with something.. Then take action and change it!