Friday October 27, 2017
I am sitting here at work.. I'm not hungry.. Yet I cannot stop thinking about food.
This is something I struggle with during prep because my calories are so low.
This is something I struggle with post show as well because I already accomplished my goal.
HOW THE HECK DO I GET PAST THIS??!!
Well for starters... I need to stop thinking or talking about food so much!
That is so hard to do. LOL.
But you just have to find something else to do or think about.
For me... It happens to be this blog. But this blog happens to be all about my eating at the moment. Haha.
Let's talk about something else...
TRAINING. So... Now that I'm done with my shows, people keep asking me about what I have next.
Well... I'm not really sure what I have next. I was going to do a meet in Louisiana in mid November, but now I'm not! So what the heck will I be training for???
Well.. I'm training to make all of the gains!
My goals this off season is to get stronger and put on size! As well as maintaining a good shape.
I am signed up to compete at the US Open, which is in May 2018! This is going to be the place to be that weekend (I'm not sure on the exact date off the top of my head). I am very excited for it!
But until then... I don't have any competitions plans. And it kind of feels good!
As much as I love to compete (in both BB & PL)... I definitely feel like I need a break.
When I say break... I don't mean a break from training or nutrition. OH NO, NO, NO! It is my life & passion.
I think I need a mental break. As odd as that sounds when I say it (or write it)... When I am in prep mode for any competition... I am fully invested! And I do my very best to give it 100%, 100% of the time! Which is very draining.
Plus... I am very competitive... So that is always added stress/pressure to do well.
Not feeling strong or have a bad workout... OMG!
Didn't drop any weight this week... What is going on?!
Not that things like that don't bug me when they happen in the off season... I think they would bother anyone who is trying to progress. But things like that definitely get to me more while in prep. So I can relax JUST A LITTLE..
Hope that made sense....
Saturday October 28, 2017
Refeed day is upon us! I have been looking forward to this day.
So.. I have some bad news... Not bad for you, but not the best news for me.
I am not as mentally strong as I think I am.. Or as I would like to be. (sad face)
When Tony and I talked last week about how I don't need a cheat meal at the moment because I am working on increasing my calories... And he said Justin (my coach) gave me this meal to give me a mental break from dieting... Tony said it was because Justin doesn't know me, so he is just assuming that I am not mentally tough enough to NOT cheat.
So I totally was like, "OH YEAH! I'M TOUGH ENOUGH! I GOT THIS!"
Well... I am not. I mean I am... But not at the moment.
I honestly just want to eat! But of course, I don't want to get fat! I don't want to rebound like I did last time!
WHICH I WILL MOST CERTAINLY NOT DO!!!!!
But I think I will have to allow myself to have that cheat meal at the moment. It gives me something to look forward to. One meal that I do not have to count. One meal that I can eat whatever I want.
What are my go to treats?
1. Trail mix
2. Ice cream
3. Cookies - Preferably the new flavors of Oreos (if I can find them)
4. Seasonal candies (right now all the pumpkin stuff)
5. Protein bars (I am absolutely obsessed with the Quest Hero Bars! Blueberry Cobbler is AMAZING!)
None of that is "real food" ... Meaning like burgers, pizza, pasta, breakfast... Which are also foods that I love.
But I just love those snacky things so much! Plus they are easy. Tony is in the zone and hasn't been cheating... So I'm not going to go out and eat alone, or order a pizza for myself. There is no way I would finish it.
Anyways... Now that I know where I am mentally, I feel a little bit better. I am only human.
Ugh! I kind of hate saying that, but it is true....
I absolutely kicked ass during my prep. I followed my plan to the T! Every day, every meal, every training session, every cardio session. I kept my NEAT up. I got my rest. I drank my water. I literally gave this prep everything I've got! And I am so proud of myself! And the San Diego stage shots show all my hard work!
With all that being said, it definitely does NOT mean that I can just go off the deep end. AND I WILL NOT!!!
I will continue to follow my coaches plan. I will continue to work my butt off! But I will allow myself to have a cheat meal. I think with me trying to NOT have a cheat meal... Is making me cheat.
Shhh! Don't tell anyone. But this morning I had extra food (protein bar, dried fruit, reduced fat graham crackers with honey). That is not like me at all! Especially first thing in the morning like that! But I was so hungry! And half asleep... So I gave in. I was weak! (sad and disappointed face)
As much as I am embarrassed to share this with you guys.
I always think that me being a health and fitness professional, and IFBB Pro... I should be "perfect" with my program. I should be able to say no to "junk" at all times... But I can't. No one can at all times.
Even the best of the best athletes have their breaking points. WE ARE ALL HUMAN.
But what sets the elite apart from everyone else is the way the elite get right back on track.
The elite do not let their "setback" or "weakness" actually set them back.
Okay, so I ate some extra calories. There is nothing I can do about it now. What's done is done.
I will learn from that and move on. I will be better going forward!
What did I learn from my "cheat" this morning?
1. It upset me because it was extra calories/macros (not part of my plan).
2. Eating it made me feel guilty, which is not good.
3. It also overly filled my stomach, so I was bloated all morning (also not good).
4. I feel like I let you guys, my coach, and Tony down (this is probably the worst of it).
5. I learned that sometimes have to allow myself to be "human." I have to acknowledge where I am mentally. I need to not just ignore it and try to push through... Ignoring it didn't work. It lead me to cheat when I shouldn't have!
What am I going to do going forward?
1. I am going to follow my macros for the rest of the day! Just because I went off plan doesn't mean that the whole day is ruined!
2. I am going to write up a bomb workout for tonight! Put those extra calories to good use!
3. I did take out some food/calories for today. Not a lot... & I definitely don't recommend you do this! But it makes me feel mentally better.
4. I am going to forgive myself. AND NOT STRESS OUT! It is all going to be okay.
5. I am writing this blog to help me not hold on to it all. Plus it keeps me honest with myself and you guys.
Well... I think I am going to wrap this one up!
Oh don't worry! I'll be back! Ha!